My Soul in Shoes.......: Puberty Part 2

From time to time we invite someone who we think is pretty great to write an article for us. This week my friend Lynn is our special guest blogger.

Lynn and I met about 15 years ago when I was working in New York. We have maintained contact on and off over the years, and recently she accepted my invitation to write a guest blog. One of the reasons that I like Lynn so much is that she is very down to earth. Not only is she is a Law and Order addict, but lately, for the last couple of weeks she has bought a $5 lottery ticket. (What’s that saying, all it takes is a dollar and a dream?) She hasn’t won yet, but knowing Lynn, she will. She has operated as a CPA, Controller, and for the last 7 years, as a consultant. The consulting role allows her pursue one of her lifelong passions, travel. She and her partner of 14 years have visited Europe, Asia and South America in the last 9 years. Her passport runneth over.

I asked Lynn to write about something she was passionate about. I thought she would say something like she wanted to be the next Suze Orman and speak on money management, or she wanted to write about her travels. She surprised me. She chose to write about being a single woman over the age of 50, and having a life with the man you love. I could not have asked for anything better.

Here is what she wrote. (Please note: there is some graphic and personal information here.)

MENOPAUSE

I have chosen to write about a biological life experience that women go through. I would also like to encourage the men who love these women to be willing to learn from my article. I chose this topic because it was one of the most difficult periods of my life that I have had to confront. I would never have come through it in the way that I did without a very understanding, strong man who loved and supported me every step of the way.

My Family History with Menopause

I am the oldest of 4 children. My mother passed away when I was 21, and she was 43, so I have no knowledge of her situation in this area.

My Experience

My own experience with menopause started when I was about 42 years old. I am completely through the experience, never having been pregnant. My sister is 18 months younger than me. We are now 54 and 52 years old. She has two children, but has no menopausal symptoms. Certain reading I have done indicates that having children makes a difference.

When I had definite irregularities in my menstrual cycle at the age of 42, I was alarmed. I don’t mean being irregular, I mean excessive bleeding with clots. I thought maybe I had some kind of cancer. At one point, I was changing both pads and tampons after every two to three hours. This was at a time when there was no internet information available, like there is today.

Over the next few years I saw several different gynecologists and each one told me everything was normal. I didn’t think it was. When my moods started to change it was even harder to hear that everything was normal. It didn’t make sense to me.

In the end, I started talking to women I knew. Some were the same age, some older and some younger than me. I started learning about different experiences they had and what worked for them. It can be an embarrassing thing to talk about, but I find that women are either very willing to share their journey about this, or they simply say no. I made mistakes, but in the end was rewarded with the physical and mental health I enjoy today.

Advice

Here is my advice:

· Have female friends you can share with about what you are experiencing and see what they can recommend.

· If you don’t have female friends, look for them.

THIS IS IMPORTANT. THEY ARE OUT THERE.

· Age is not necessarily a determining factor, so find a doctor you trust. It may take some time. Hang in there. . In the end it was an endocrinologist who made the difference for me.

· Read and do research. There is no right answer for every woman.

· If you are not into diet and exercise, start. I started with Weight Watchers, and am currently doing yoga. I have maintained a 25 lb. weight loss, while being much stronger than I was 6 years ago.

· Have your partner share in your experience. Share with each other what you are feeling, thinking and doing. It could be the thing that has the relationship you value last for a lifetime.

Here’s the best news. Despite what you might hear or read, it’s possible to have good sex during and after menopause. I spent three years with no interest in sex. But I tell you from personal experience that it can come back, and could be better than ever. Look out men; you just might get what you wish for!

I wish you all the best,

Lynn

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a note from moi:

I went through "the change" in my mid 40's and it lasted less than 6 months. I didn't even realize that I was going through it until I stopped getting my period. No sweating, no sleepless nights, no nothing. My friends and I used to joke about menopause and call it "Men on Pause", which seemed hysterical to us at the time. None of us ever had any symptoms so we really didn't know how other women experienced it. Every woman is different. My coaching to you is this: (and this is only IMHO)

If you have not gone through menopause yet, start discussing it with your doctor NOW.
If you are currently going through menopause and unhappy with your doctor, get a new one NOW.
ALWAYS consult your doctor if you are experiencing any discomfort.
And remember,